Once again, Her.meneutics, a women’s blog hosted by Christianity Today, has decided to address the evidently problematic occurrence of…
LAY-DEEZ WHO MASTURBATE!
You may recall Her.meneutics has discussed
everyone’s favorite pasttime this in the past, and you can read the No Shame Movement response here, as well as personal stories from people who grew up with internalized shame of their own sexual desires.
First of all, and this cannot be stressed enough, masturbation is one of the most natural things a human being does. So natural that children often find out about it all by themselves.
Before I get into my issues with the post (and I have MANY), a few quick points about masturbation:
- It’s a great way to explore your body, find out what gives you pleasure, and for many, to combat the shame many of us were taught to feel growing up in the church about sexual desire.
- Studies have shown It’s good for your health and well-being.
- Orgasms release that wonderful thing called oxytocin, which can relieve stress.
However, yet again, Her.meneutics deems it necessary to devote time and energy to dissuading people from engaging in self-pleasure.
I must confess; out of all of the arguments that purity culture poses regarding sexual desire, I have found one against masturbation to be the most baffling.
Well, let’s review:
- Purity culture tells us it is God’s plan to wait until (a heterosexual) marriage to have sex.
- Purity culture warns us against “giving in to temptation” while dating.
- Purity culture motivates churches to police every physical action that could possibly occur between two people of a romantic nature.
Then…THEN..on top of ALL OF THIS?
Now we’re to believe that it is a sin for us to even pleasure ourselves in the privacy of our own homes? Pleasure that, since sex is “special gift” for our spouses on our wedding night, is likely the ONLY sexual pleasure many of us (who haven’t yet found that one “God has for us) will feel for awhile?
Ok. Then I have a few questions. Not rhetorical, but real, honest questions to which I welcome a response from the author, Her.meneutics, and anyone else who believes that masturbation (outside the context of a heterosexual marriage) is a sin.
Did you know that *some* Christians don’t plan to get married, while others are legally barred from doing so?
Why are sexual desire and lust lumped together as the same thing?
If women masturbate out of lust, what is the object of their lust? Themselves?
Using a fictional storyline from the movie Her as an example of men not being able to related to women in the flesh: HUH?
Why does porn always seem to go hand-in-hand (pun intended) with masturbation? Are you aware that lots and lots of people masturbate without watching porn?
Have you considered the possibility that the guilt many Christians feel after masturbating comes from years of indoctrination that all things sexual are “dirty” and “sinful”, that we must “fight against our flesh” which is our “enemy”, thus becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy?
Why, in your opinion, are Christians uncomfortable with women as sexual beings? What is the root of that discomfort?
Women dress immodestly to get attention? From whom? What is your definition of immodest? Are you aware that there are women who dress only for themselves and their own comfort? Have you met any of these women? For whom do YOU dress?
That John Piper quote…
- When you state that men “seem to grasp that their desires are natural” are you implying that women don’t?
What sort of “tempting situation” should be avoided if sexual desire increases during ovulation? Don’t take showers? Don’t be alone in your room? Sleep standing up? In what situation is one “tempted” to masturbate?
I sincerely want to understand what, precisely, about the act of adults fingering their genitals until they reach a climax, do you find so problematic?
Can you cite the verses in the Bible that address self-pleasure?